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Save Your Breath

by , on
September 23, 2019
Save Your Breath

FANDOM: 魔道祖师 | Mo Dao Zu Shi
CHARACTERS: Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao, Su She
PAIRING: Lan Xichen/Jin Guangyao
RATING: Explicit
TAGS/WARNINGS: Time Travel Fix-It, Loyalty Kink, Porn with Feelings, Trans Jin Guangyao, Songfic
NOTES: I have reached the point in my life where I’ve decided to not apologize for anything I’ve ever wanted to write, ever, which is why I unironically wrote a songfic in the year 2019. Enjoy some fix-it xiyaos 😀 And as always, mind the tags, please- though if you’ve read my Magi fics, you shouldn’t be too surprised XD

Song in question is Save Your Breath by Adore Delano, with some slight changes for artistic license.

Time slips by, immeasurable and inescapable, only changed by knowledge and determination and a willingness to make sacrifices, and Lan Xichen breaks through the cycle with hope for a second chance and a different outcome.


silence is all we heard
you know, our last goodbye
keeps playing through my mind

・x・x・x・x・x・

In some ways, his days in seclusion pass quickly, weeks and months and perhaps years blurring together into a single stream of guilt and regret that Lan Xichen still hasn’t grasped how he should handle and come to terms with. And yet, it’s so painfully slow, because everything recollection is a repetitive noose of his failures; when he’s lost track of what day it is, how can he fathom the concept of time? It’s cyclical, a never ending reminder of how cold and unfeeling fate can be.

He’s an observer in his own life, an afterthought, an outsider influencing nothing- because everything is something that reminds him of what he didn’t do. And it all plays out in his head, every broken promise and pretty lie and years of trust, and Lan Xichen is so very tired of crying over what he can’t change. But Jin Guangyao left a hole in his heart and his life that he can’t mend.

Lan Xichen reads to fill the emptiness around him, every line of Righteousness as if it could give some sort of new meaning, and then scrolls on new cultivation techniques and theories, and learning makes the painful blur of time somewhat more bearable. It slips by through the lines of text, seasons change, and Lan Xichen keeps replaying their final conversation, desperately searching for any meaning or closure the words hold.

Until-


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One of Many Such Experiences

by , on
July 31, 2019

FANDOM: 魔道祖师 | Mo Dao Zu Shi
CHARACTERS: Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao
PAIRING: Lan Xichen/Jin Guangyao
RATING: Teen
TAGS/WARNINGS: Canon-Typical Alcohol Use, Fluff, First Kiss
NOTES: I stumbled on the XiYao Week twitter today and got inspired to participate!!! Not sure if I’ll be able to do something for every day – especially since I’m starting so late, whoops! – but I had fun writing this anyway 😀

Meng Yao – Jin Guangyao now, though he’ll always be A-Yao in his mind – has been there for most of the important events in Lan Xichen’s life, both good and bad. Sometimes he’s a comfort after a tragedy and other times he’s there to celebrate a success, but for today, he’s a friend to share some confiscated alcohol with.

Lan Xichen gets lost thinking about his good friend, and learns that he gets a little touchy while inebriated.


Meng Yao – Jin Guangyao now, though he’ll always be A-Yao in his mind – has been there for most of the important events in Lan Xichen’s life, both good and bad. Sometimes he’s a comfort after a tragedy and other times he’s there to celebrate a success, but for today, he’s a friend to share a small bottle of Emperor’s Smile with. He had confiscated it from a younger disciple on his way out of the Cloud Recesses, and it had seemed like such a waste to throw it away when he had a good friend who would enjoy it as his destination.

Now, he’s not so sure it was such a good idea. It’s no secret that the GusuLan Sect bans alcohol, though that hasn’t stopped Lan Xichen from enjoying some on rare occasions- though always while away from home, with friends, and most importantly, in privacy. But that means he’s not a regular drinker, and his tolerance can’t match someone who lives in Lanling, where alcohol flows freely at the multitude of celebrations and banquets in Carp Tower.

A-Yao is telling him about a ceremony of sorts that he organized recently and the praise he received for his careful handling of it – his father even gave it passing notice, much to his delight – but Lan Xichen finds him attention drifting from the story, mind wandering as his gaze falls on A-Yao’s mouth. There’s something distracting in how it moves as he talks, lips parting softly through words, pausing only to take small, dignified sips of his wine, before he smiles gently at Lan Xichen. He has such cute dimples, he muses, thinking about how lucky anyone that A-Yao truly smiles at is, to see him soften from the ever-present politeness to something more genuine around those he trusts.

Lan Xichen gets lost thinking about how lucky he is to be witness to it so frequently, before finally realizing that the pause in conversation has stretched longer than usual, and he glances up to see that A-Yao is looking at him expectantly.


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